Turning the Page

I realize I started off this blog pretty strong (probably due to a tiny obsession with a certain missionary...I don't know, just a random guess) but ended up kinda dropping it. I'd consider even removing this blog entirely from the internet, but then I went through and started reading my posts through out the past year or two. Even though the first couple (okay, maybe the first year of blog posts) were a bit embarrassing with my love-sick attitude, it's still interesting to literally see the growth I feel I've had in the past two years or so.

SO...can you guess where I am right now? I'm sitting in a chair. At a computer. In the living room. But not just any chair at any computer in any living room. I am at the former Elder Joshua Graham's house. And he is home.

How in the world can I sum up what the past two years have been like for me? And even these past few weeks of him being home? I guess while he's out helping Bachan (his grandma, how cute) wash her car out in the front, I've got a minute to just list some thoughts.

The whole concept of a girl "waiting" for her missionary is highly controversial in the Mormon community. Okay, maybe not highly, but for an MG like myself, who had to endure comments, concerns, remarks, lectures, etc. from a number of people, it pretty much was. The entire freaking two years. So I'm not even gonna go into that. All I can say is, when a girl decides she is going to "wait" for her missionary over the next two years, EVERY situation is different. Every relationship is different. While it's true that a lot of girls are just love-sick and clingy and aren't able to let go of their boys, there are a select few who actually have a mature and open perspective to it as they wait. Looking back at the road I've trod over the past two years, I'd say I was both. Started out in the first, unfortunate way, but was molded into the other type of MG.

My relationship with Josh is very peculiar and has been from the beginning. We met as surf buddies. Became a couple over the phone. Wrote each other for two years. And now that he's a returned missionary, we finally had our first "date" that most "normal" couples would consider their beginning. As for us, we kind of established our relationship in the gospel from the beginning. We used our perspectives gained from being a part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and applied this perspective in our relationship. I'm not saying everyone should establish their relationship in the way we did, because obviously everyone is different. This is just how our relationship was established and has grown from, and for us...it's pretty much perfect.

But here, and now. This. This is what I have waited two long years for. This is what I had faith in. This is what I have loved. And...it's working. I love that it's working. I can't describe it adequately but I am so happy, the happiest I've ever been. And I'm trying not to slip into this "honeymoon phase" where the couple is just happy and thinks everything will be all fine and dandy... I know that every healthy relationship has hardship to some degree, and we've had some but we use those to bring us closer, to build each other up, or to use it to strengthen ourselves individually.

Now that he's finished with his mission, and I am done waiting, it is time to turn the page and begin the next chapter of our lives. Most people would automatically assume (since we ARE Mormon after all...) that this means marriage. But we're not rushing anything. We're still being open about the paths our lives will take us on. For now, we're just doing what's important for our own individual futures and we're going to see where life takes us. If it works out that we can accompany each other on this life-long journey, and even our eternal progression back to Heavenly Father, then....

awesome. :)