Stress and frustration and happiness

So I'm kinda torn right now cuz I am SOOOOO HAPPYYYYY that I got mail from Josh today. And it wasn't just one letter, it was three. Oh yeah :) and pennies and a memory stick. :) Can you believe it's been 6 months already??? I love him so freaking much I don't even know how to describe it. I just want to be corny and just sigh and smile to myself knowing how much he still loves me and wants "us" as he calls it to work out when he returns. :)

And then there's...this problem. I don't know what to do about it. It doesn't seem too threatening right now, but the littlest mistake can set me off down the wrong path. Ah frick man.

Can I just be invisible for the next year and a half? Pleeeeeease????

Officially OUT of the stinkin twenties!!

5 months down.
19 more to go.

At least I am out of the 20's. Pretty soon I'll be coming up on the year mark. Ha. Hopefully that day where I can say I have more time behind me than in front of me comes fast. I'll be at BYU-Hawaii by then. I'm soooo stoked. :) I just watched a video of this girl who went to the airport when her missionary came home and they were both crying and just kept hugging and it made me want to cry. Of course I was imagining myself in that video, haha. I'm pretty sure Josh is going to smile ridiculously, maybe tear up a bit. I know I'm just gonna choke him and probably cry and not wanna let go of him! But that day is kind of a long way off, so I shouldn't start day dreaming too much....lol. I love him so much. This is one of the hardest things I've EVER done, possibly THE hardest thing I've ever done. But knowing that when he comes back I'll never have to part with him ever again...it just makes it all worth it.

Oh yeah and I forgot to mention something else. So I don't know if I mentioned this before, but Windy just got a new boyfriend over spring break who happens to already have his mission call. Hahaha. Sound familiar? So I'm like SWEET! My new sis will be in the same situation as I am for about a year, because she decided to wait for him. He doesn't leave till October, and I'll be helping her through that. I mean I didn't really have anyone to help me out when Josh first left, so I at least want to give her an idea of what to expect. And then today I find out her cousin, Malia also is waiting for her missionary! He just left in December. So it's like a whole family affair already, haha. Kinda funny but cute. But it'll give us this time to get closer to each other, even though I haven't really met Malia in person yet. I can't wait though!

So Mother's day is coming up, and you know what that means!!! Missionaries get to call home!!! It's one out of the two times in the year they get to talk to their family. Windy said she'll do a 3-way so I can also talk to Josh. I am sooo freakin stoked to hear his voice again!! Gahhhh I absolutely love him...

Tomorrow is email day! 5 more days until I come home! I am seriously gonna spend my days outside. Beach, hiking, running, whatever. I am so sick of being indoors and watching tv and movies all the freakin time! Ugh. And I need to lose all this weight I gained. My goal is to lose like 15 pounds before Josh gets back. He deserves to come home to the girl he left back home, not a fat girl. Yuuuuuck. And I plan to get a lot better at surfing by then too. So there's some goals I can work on to pass the time. :)

"I'll only be gone for a short while. Wait for me. I love you.."

2 down, 2 more to go!

Yay! I am officially done with classes for this semester and next week I go home! So that's two semesters down, and two more to go before Josh comes home. :)

I've been having some really weird dreams lately, but it'll pass. BTW, this wasn't one of my weird dreams (in fact it was an amazing one) but I dreamt that I married Josh and it felt so real and when I woke up it didn't feel like it was that far off.. :)

I can't wait for my next letter & videos!! I <3 him sooooooo much..

Oh yeah, I like when I forget about this site cuz then the next time I look at the countdown I'm like gosh! I'm making so much progress! And I really am. :)

Summer is so close, I can TASTE it!

One more week of school and then finals and I am OUT OF HERE!!! I'm so excited! I was thinking about it today, and I really think this next year and a half is going to fly by. I mean I'll be working and surfing every single day this summer, and then I'm going to be starting school back home at BYU-H in July and then in the Fall, Josh's sister Windy and I are going to be room mates for the 09-10 school year! That'll be so much fun! And then after that is summer again (which aalllwayyyss goes by so fast) and Josh will be home already!! I am so stoked about life. :) And I can't believe I'm almost done with 1/4 waiting....I know I could not have gotten to this point without the love and support of friends and family. It hasn't been easy at all, and I know it won't get any easier, but I KNOW that I can do this. I just have to be open to the Lord and stay close to Him. :)

BTW, I found out what Josh was saying in my last video when he was integrating Spanish and Tongan...

"Tu eres mi fo'ilole" = You are my beautiful.

You can't even imagine how happy that makes me feel.

Surprise Video in the mail!!! :) i love him

I bought him that tie! Haha. Does anyone know tongan????