Just another one of those days...

I found all the old messages between me and Josh on facebook yesterday. As I read through them (about 10 pages long printed) I wanted to cry...I miss him like crazy. Being in Utah just makes it worse because it's really hard for me to be happy here. And once he leaves the MTC it'll be two and a half months of hell before I can be happy and warm at home again.

I love him.
:) ..... :(

Pictures!! Finally. :)

Brother Graham (Josh's dad) finally sent me some pictures from his farewell and the Utah trip! :) Oh and thanks to Windy too for taking such awesome pics. :)



Officially tagged :)


November 19, 2008
Tom, Claudia, Windy, and Josh Graham


Obviously sick of smiling for pics! Lol. That's ok, it's worth it with all the pics we got.



Hahaha, Josh is obviously laughing in this pic with the old man. I gotta find out who that is...lol.
Farewell - October 12, 2008

Eating at Fuddruckers...i love my goofball :)

Walking to the MTC

November 19, 2008

This picture is soooo cool! It looks like a magazine pic! And of course, he's talking to ME on the phone ;) (Outside the Travelodge)

Saying goodbye to George & his bros the night he left..aww so cute

November 14, 2008

Ben Beck (reppin' the all bus up shirt...*shakes head*), Josh and Alohi Fanara at the Honolulu Airport

November 14, 2008

Farewell - October 12, 2008 Honolulu, HI Mission Pres.

Hugging Robin (soon to be Sister Beck that day!) November 19, 2008

The Grahams in front of the Provo Temple

November 19, 2008

Us kids outside Tucano's after Sis. Graham's 50th bday dinner

Elder Joshua Graham and Elder Robert Beck!

best friends/surfer buddies cheehee!!

Farewell at Kahala Chapel - October 12, 2008

I know it's in such a random order but that's why I put the dates.

Gosh I love him so much :)

Golden Grahams.

I had another dream about Josh last night but I can't remember what happened. But I know it took place back home in Hawaii.





There are times where I can be surrounded by a crowd of people, busily doing something or having fun and I'd just stop and think about how much better it'd be with him there... :/ ... someday..





I love Joshua Graham and I'm going to marry him one day. I love him and that doesn't even begin to cover it.





:)

P.S. - About the picture to the left. Hahaha. Props to Jaso for sending me this on my phone and saying "When you and Josh have kids and come back from surfing all the time I'm gonna call you guys this." xP

Another MTC Extension!

So Josh is probably going to be held back in the MTC until February 3rd. I feel so bad for him because he's so sick of it there. Especially with the broken wrist and everything (which is why he's being held back longer) he's sort of struggling emotionally. But I've been writing him continually and I hope he feels a little better with my letters. I had a kinda unique experience yesterday, because after speaking with him at work and finding out about his second extension I was thinking a lot about how I could help him, and then I decided it would be good to let his family know. Turns out his mom prayed that morning that Heavenly Father would let her know how her son is doing. His family really has no clue because his emails are literally "The gospel is true I love you Elder Graham" and they haven't received a real, detailed letter from him since like Christmas I think. So when I was prompted to send Mama Graham a text message her response was very touching and grateful. She said that I was able to take part in Heavenly Father's answer to her prayers. :) I was like, wow! That is special. And then his dad sent me a message on Facebook thanking me for being the answer to their prayers and I was like YAY! :) He also sent me a link to their family's website where I could view all of the pictures from Elder Graham's farewell to his reporting to the MTC. He looks so handsome in all of the pictures, even the goofy ones. Ahhhh I love him I wanted to cry while looking at the pictures. :/

I just found out last night that my cousin, Taite Koko'o, went home! The morning his district was scheduled to go out to Suva, Fiji he went home instead! I could tell he wasn't really ready to serve...every time I talked to him in the MTC (which is where I work) he didn't seem too excited about the work. But he loved the guys he met and the friendships he made. Josh basically sat him down and said "If you're really feeling like you're not ready to serve a mission, get out NOW before you get out into the field." So, he did. That was good of Josh to tell him that because it would've been worse for Taite to serve grudgingly or to leave after he got to Fiji. I'll need to pray for them both.

I spent $55 in ties for Josh at Mr. Mac today...he said he needed them! I got this funny looking rainbow tie that I'm calling The Prop 8 Tie ahahah. It's just as a joke, but knowing Josh he'll wear it around...Lol. xP

A silly little thing today that made me smile was when I was with my room mate, Jennie, in Mr. Mac. I was like, would you buy this tie for him? And she was like, "Don't look at me! He's not my future husband!"

:) :) :)

So much is happening all at once...

I can hardly keep up!

I finally decided on my major today. Exercise Sciences: Fitness and Wellness emphasis. I'm probably transferring to BYU-H as of Fall 2009. Josh leaves on Tuesday 1/27 (YIKES!). I'm happy but sad. Blehhh now I REALLY am sending him off. I got work tomorrow so I'm gonna write a letter to give to him for free while I still can. Paying for postage is gonna be so gay.

Dude I'm so behind in school. I got too much to think about. I often find myself scatter-brained and trying to do 10 things at once. I start doing something, then remember something else and start doing that. Then I remember something else and start doing that too. And then I end up going on Facebook. I HATE FACEBOOK!!!!!!

Anyways, I love Elder Joshua Kamalama Graham forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and that's never going to change.

Official Mission Website

If anyone needs any information on Elder Graham (his address to write him, etc.) go to this website:

http://www.missionsite.net/ElderGraham

Another Dream

So last night I went to my brother's house for dinner and then we watched the movie Alien. So that's probably the reason why I had this strange dream last night...

I was with other people trapped in this deserted stadium. We were all running away from this ugly alien thing that was trying to kill/eat us. I finally got out of the stadium and guess who was standing there waiting for me? Josh. :) And I ran to him and hugged him and started crying so hard because I was so scared and happy. After we wrapped our arms around each other we did not want to let go, so he scooped me up and carried me home since I was pretty much a wreck. :P When I woke up, I realized...it's been so long since I've felt his embrace. Our arms fit perfectly around each other. Our heights are perfect - I'm only about 2 or 3 inches away from him, so he doesn't have to lean down too far to kiss me. Our hands intertwine perfectly together and fit in just the right way. Our first kiss was perfect - not too timid but not too passionate. Just a gentle peck on the lips that wasn't too long or too short. Gahhhhhhhh I know I'm not supposed to be missing him this way. It's that stupid dream that sparked all these emotions. I'm gonna go eat cinnamon rolls or chocolate or something. -_-

w00t! and Future Plans

Heeeeeeeeccccccccckkkkkkkkkk yyyyyyeeaaaaaaahhhhhh I am officially done with 2 Months of waiting!!! I just hit my 60 day mark yesterday. Now I just gotta do that 12 more times and I'll be all pau.

So when I woke up this morning of course I immediately started thinking of Josh. As I was lying in bed I was thinking about school because Elder Graham would return smack in the middle of Fall 2010 semester (unless he gets an extension). That would be GAY if I'm in Utah while all that is happening and I definitely want to be there for his homecoming talk! So, I was thinking about certain ways where I could work it out well that I'd be home for him when he returns. I don't think I want to be in school here and then buy a plane ticket to come home. I'd rather just be home already and STAY home when he returns. And besides that, not only is he returning but so is Josh's best friend and fellow surf buddy Elder Robert Beck! And then Elder Taite Koko'o, who is another surf buddy in the crew and also my COUSIN. So the plan is that I'm going to try and graduate early. I'll finish up my freshman year here, go home and take classes at either UH or online. Then I'll do Fall 09/Winter 10 at BYU-Provo. Then go home and take more classes at UH or online. If I don't have enough credits to graduate by then, I'll just hold off until Josh does his 1 semester and transfers here to BYU-Provo for Winter 2011. If I don't graduate by then I at least want to be a Senior.

I was thinking about it last night and talking with Jill (MG with missionary who left same day as mine) and I am SOOOO excited for the boys to come home! I mean I don't want them to come home right now, because they should make the best of their missions each and every day of these 2 years. But when they come back and our surf crew is reunited again it's gonna be FREAKING AWESOME!!! So much fun. Lol. But I don't know if Ben will be here for when they return...he's 2 years younger than all of them so he might leave for his mission right before they return...unless he waits a while before submitting his papers. Josh was 20 years and 3 days old when he reported to the MTC. Lol. So technically, he could be halfway done with his mission right now if he left right at 19!! Doodoo boy. Haha jk. If he left right at 19 I wouldn't have met him... :( So things really do happen for a reason, I strongly believe that. :)

I am 1/12th done with waiting ahahahha. YES!

I know I shouldn't be thinking about the wedding so much...because GOD FORBID if anything bad happens and it doesn't work out then yeah...no that's not gonna happen. It's gonna work out. If things are meant to be, they just work out. And this was meant to be. IS meant to be. :) So...yeah I was thinking about the wedding. Everyone that knows me knows that I always pick pink and black stuff and everything I have is pretty much pink and black. But I don't know if it would be good to have black as a wedding color...maybe it's bad luck? And I think it would be awesome to get a Reggae band to play live at our reception haha that'd be so much fun and Josh and the crew would LOVE that! Preferably Tribal Seeds, if I had a million dollars. Unfortunately, I don't. At least not now. Hahaha.

So Cute :)

I forgot to mention some cute things Elder Graham said to me at work this morning. He told me, "You're not allowed to Dear John me...you're only allowed to Dear Elder me!!" I laughed and promised that I'd only Dear Elder him. And then after he ate he came back to say goodbye and also said, "You know the guys over there don't believe that you're my novia? They said 'Get outta here! Don't you know how hot she is?? She's not your novia!'" I just laughed again and said those missionaries were CRAZY. :P

I love him so much. Sigh. (:

Still Happy :)

So there's lots of things to blog about! Ummm. I love Joshua Graham?! Haha. Sorry, I just feel like saying that a lot tonight. He's just so...amazing. Gosh. I got slightly worried today, because I went to my first class and this new guy came in who was attractive (wasn't checking him out - I can tell who's ugly and who isn't!) and hes at down by me and was kinda flirty. I wondered, what would happen if he asked me out on a date?! PLEASE DON'T! But he didn't, and I survived. Whew. I definitely know I would never go out with another guy because, seriously, what's the point? Sorry. I honestly could never see myself with some other guy. My heart has Joshua Graham written alllllll over it. :D

I'm happy to have made a new MG friend whose missionary left the same day as mine! Yayyy!! You know who you are, I'm happy!! Yeaaahhh now we have the same countdown ahahaha. Soooo awesome. I'm so grateful for all this support I have in waiting for Josh. Really, I am.

I have two dreams from this past month that I don't want to forget. Actually, I'll blog about 3, one being from November.

Dream #1:
Taken from a letter I wrote him:
I dreamt that I was searching for you at the MTC in Hawaii (that’s weird, because you and I both know there is none). When I found you, you were smiling, but I had tears streaming down my face. I was literally balling my eyes out and said something like, “Don’t leave me…” And then you said, “Arianna, look at me.” So I looked up and all I remember seeing in my dream was your warm, beautiful eyes (they ARE heart-melting…) Then you said, “I’ll only be gone for a short while. Wait for me. I love you.” And then I woke up, and the very first thought that popped into my head was: To some it is given to learn patience. Exactly like that, word for word. I was like, whoa, was that revelation? So I turned on my computer and immediately emailed my mom. I wanted her insight and opinion because she’s always right about spiritual related stuff. I told her that this experience was testimony to me that what I’m doing is right. And the way that this revelation was given sounded like scripture. In D&C 46:9-32 it talks about gifts of the spirit, like the gift of tongues, discerning spirits, etc. It’s really good, you should read it. So I told my mom that I believed it was revelation, because the state we are in when we first wake up is when our minds are the clearest, and we can hear even the tiniest, softest voice. She replied half an hour later and said that she agreed. She usually gets her best revelation early in the morning right when she’s waking up. Sometimes she’s still half asleep. A couple of weeks ago it was the decision not to send my little brother, Jeremy, to Austria with the school orchestra. It was the defining day because he was going to attend a fundraiser for the trip. He was extremely disappointed, but she told him it was revelation. If there is something weighing on her mind, she prays about it before she goes to sleep and then she ponders and goes with whatever the feeling is in the morning. When she doesn’t listen to the directions of the Spirit, bad things happen and she really regrets it.

Dream #2: We were walking along the beach as the sun was setting...and I don't remember exactly how everything happened...but suddenly he got down on one knee, and with a huge smile on his face (COMPELTELY HEART-MELTING!!!!) he asked, "Arianna, will you marry me?" I started crying and smiling and squealed, "YES!!" And hugged and kissed him.

Dream #3: This one isn't as juicy or anything. But it meant a lot to me! We were sitting in class at BYU and I looked at him and there was a silver wedding band on his finger. I had white gold. This made me really happy because how can it not mean something that I dream of something so specific as that? The fact that his wedding band was silver would make sense because I don't like gold. I know, it's weird, I'm a girl and I don't like gold and I prefer silver or at least white gold jewelry. I'm pretty sure that dream will come true one day. :)

One other thing - on Josh's very last day, the day he reported to the MTC, we went to the Provo temple together and sat on a bench and read scriptures and talked. Of course his mother was there too, because he was already set apart as a missionary. But she was very considerate and sat on a bench kinda far away, but where she could still see us. Everything just felt so right, being there with him. It felt familiar, like I knew that one day I'd be attending temple sessions regularly with him and :) get sealed in the temple to him :). We then walked around the back, very casually and comfortably. I desperately wanted time to slow down while I was still with him. And then I looked up at him and he was smiling uncontrollably. I was like, "What?! Do I have something on my face?" "Haha, no. I just thought of something...but it's too sacred to share right now. I'll tell you when the time is right. After my mission." So I really hope he never forgets what he wanted to tell me! I definitely won't forget! Even after two years!! We then walked back around to the front of the temple, and he said (with a smile of course), "Ari...you're glowing." That made me smile uncontrollably (which is the norm for every single second I'm with him! Seriously, I have a piano face whenever I'm with him. It's embarrassing - but amazing at the same time).

It's so hard to know what it's like to have the absolute best thing in the entire world, and then going without it for two whole years. But you know what keeps us MG's going? The fact that we love our missionaries, and that they love us too, and that in the end - all the pain and all the waiting will be well worth it. Because our boys - our soldiers of God - are worth it.