I wanna go home.

So at this point I've pretty much accepted the fact that I'll never get my phone back from the depths of the Tatsu ride at Six Flags. And I didn't get an email from Josh today. That's the first time he's missed a Monday emailing me since he's been out in the field. Maybe it's because I sent him like 4 emails this week (usually it's only one) and he ran out of time to respond to them...idk. Tomorrow or wednesday should be his second email day so hopefully that cheers me up.

I'd say three quarters of the time I've been with my family in Cali I've had enough fun to be distracted from things that are bothering me. Whenever we're at a theme park I enjoy myself and get excited for everything, with the exception of all the damn couples making out and hugging and feeling each other up in every line we wait in for every ride. But at the end of the day when I'm tired and my feet hurt and I don't have anything to distract myself from all my thoughts, I get kinda sad. Like right now. I don't know, maybe I'm just being a baby. But lately I've been missing Josh even more than usual. I swear everywhere I look all I see is his face and somehow he's always in the back of my mind because I know how much better and brighter he makes my life. During dinners, car rides, rollercoaster rides, firework shows, walking on the beach, surfing, even sleeping. I just imagine what it would be like with him in the picture and it makes my heart skip a beat and a smile slowly creeps up to my face and it even reaches my eyes. And then I remember how much time I have left until I can feel that kind of happiness again, and those feelings leave as fast as they came.

I just want to go home and surf all day with my friends and just be in the ocean. It's like that's the only thing I can do without him where I am content and can be truly happy despite his absence.